shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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