OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
