I'm gonna have a badass scar
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
