We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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