just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
this is an emotional support booty call
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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