you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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