That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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