whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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