So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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