He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
