Dual....:-)
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
