how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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