Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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