Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
