I'm gonna have a badass scar
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just googled if crying burns calories
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
