i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
