some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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