just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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