i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
