Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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