why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize