forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
