I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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