Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
