why didn't you poke me back
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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