You took a bar mat shot.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
