Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
