Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
