Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It all started with a game of naked twister.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
