The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
