we have officially lost it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
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While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
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Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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