I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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