Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So vagazzling was a success
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
