Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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