areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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