My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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