Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
