quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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