im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I looked at my own cervix.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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