Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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