margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
