We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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