Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.