I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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