I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
