chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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