did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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