He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
