she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
