When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
