The maid of honor just puked.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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