I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize