dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
