Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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