Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
