You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
