Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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