Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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