she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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