So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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