I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize