Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
